Charlie did what?
by Reader128
Summary: How does Don's witness  and her family  know Charlie? What secret is Charlie hiding? Wait... Charlie did what when he turned 18? Who knew that Charlie could be this sneaky. Not sure what genre this should fit in. Please read and review.


**A.N. Hi! This could go during any season of Numb3rs (except for that part in season 3 where Larry goes into space for a bit), and it's several years after Addams Family Values. (In my mind, there are only 2 real Addams Family films, and both of them have Raul Julia as Gomez. The other one/others don't have the original actors, and I don't really like the new actors. The ORIGINAL television show doesn't count in this because it is awesome, but the timeline doesn't fit.) I also realize that Charlie doesn't go out with Don to question people normally, but for this story, I needed him to be there... plus, the case doesn't really have anything to do with the story, it's just a way to get the story started.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own either Numb3rs or the Addams Family... I also have no idea who owns them... I bet that the owners are rich though...**

Charlie and Don were on their way to the newest crime scene, Don driving of course, when Charlie noticed that they were heading towards a very familiar house.

"Don, why am I here? You just told me that you needed help on a case, but you won't tell me anything about it. What's this case about?" Charlie asked his brother.

"There have been several murders lately and we need your help to find out who did it," Don started. "All the victims have been rich, single men with no children. The latest victim, Fester Addams, didn't die, so we are going to talk to him and see if he remembers who his attacker was. We're hoping that you could find something that we missed."

Charlie's breath, which he didn't even know he was holding, left him in a _whoosh_ when he heard the name of the last victim, and he asked, "Addams? Are you positive that you have the correct name?"

Don looked at his brother, "Yeah, I'm sure. Charlie, are you okay?"

Charlie looked away, "I'm fine."

They had reached the gate of the gloomy house. Don sat there, wondering how they were going to get past it when Charlie jumped out of the car.

The younger man walked up to the gate and said, "Gate, we're here to speak with Fester and Gomez. May we pass?"

The gate, surprisingly, creaked opened at his request and Charlie got back in the car. Don gave his brother another look before driving up the long driveway. They both got out of the car and walked up to the door. Charlie rang the bell, and a high-pitched scream echoed from the house. The door creaked open, and a very large man held it open long enough for them to step through.

"Hello, Lurch," Charlie addressed the large man. "We're here to see Fester and Gomez."

The man Charlie called Lurch groaned and turned around. Charlie followed him, and Don had no choice but to go with them. As they walked deeper into the house, Don looked around. Everything was gloomy and cobwebs were everywhere. The walls were black but lightened with age. Weapons of all sorts were hung everywhere, interspersed with various paintings, statues, and portraits. They kept walking for a few minutes before they were shown into a living room of sorts. There were six people in the room not counting the brothers and Lurch, who left the room as soon as the brothers entered.

Charlie walked up to a short man and a beautiful woman. "Gomez, Morticia, it's good to see you," he stated before shaking the man's hand and kissing the woman's. He then turned around and nodded towards the other four, "Grandmama, Pugsley, Pubert, Fester."

Don just looked confused as his little brother walked back to stand next to him.

"Charlie, old man, we haven't seen you in ages!" the man, Gomez, stated as he stood up.

Charlie looked embarrassed, "It's only been a few weeks. How are the twins?"

It was Morticia who answered, "They have been missing their 'Uncle Joel' these past few weeks. They've been inconsolable. You really need to come around more often."

"Mon cher?"

Don turned around to see who had spoken. He saw a young woman, about Charlie's age with long black hair, pale skin, and large, dark eyes. She was looking at his brother with a look of love (though it was masked very well behind a bland expression).

"Cara mia," Charlie answered before moving towards her and, in a moment that surprised Don, started kissing her like they had been together for a long time.

"Uncle Joel!"

This shout broke up Charlie and the girl. Charlie's face lit up and he kneeled down and opened his arms to the two little girls that had shouted. "Morrigan (1) and Selene (2)! You two have gotten a bit bigger since I was here three weeks ago. Have you been good?"

"No way, Uncle Joel!" the little girls answered.

"They've been perfect little devils since you left," Gomez told Charlie.

Don was now really confused. How did his brother know these people, and why did those little girls call him 'Uncle Joel'? Charlie saw the confusion on his brother's face and knew that he had some explaining to do.

"Why don't we all sit down so we can explain why we're here?" Charlie stated. "I also need to explain to Don how I know you," he told the Addams's.

The family arranged themselves on the two couches and the chairs in the room. Gomez, Morticia, and Fester were on one couch, Grandmama, Pugsley, Pubert, and the twins were across from them on the other couch, Charlie and the young woman sat in one chair that was almost a love seat, and Don took the last chair.

Charlie took a deep breath and began, "Don, do you remember that summer before we started high school? How we were both sent to different families for the whole summer so Mom and Dad could reconnect?" He waited for Don's nod before he continued, "The family I was sent to were the Glickers. They weren't very nice people. They were rich, and wanted to get rid of me as soon as they got me, so they sent me to summer camp. They used my middle name, Joel, the whole time, and made me answer to their last name, so during the time I was at camp, I was Joel Glicker. I was miserable there. All I wanted to do was read, so I snuck in some books. I got caught reading, so I was sent to the "Harmony Hut," a nasty little building that only offered complete boredom. I met Wednesday and Pugsley there. After that, the summer got better. We became friends. Wednesday got a letter with an invitation to Fester's wedding, and she invited me as her date. I met the rest of the family at the wedding. They understood me a lot better than most people did.

"The next day, we went back to camp. We were forced to be in the annual camp play. It was really annoying. Wednesday was an Indian princess and I was her betrothed while Pugsley was a turkey. The other outcasts were our tribe. All of the popular kids were pilgrims. We ended up sabotaging the play: tying up the counselors and pilgrims and covering all the parents who where there in pie. Luckily for me, the Glickers were there, too. My first job was knocking them out of their seats. Wednesday and Pugsley left that night to go home. Before they left, Wednesday and I kissed. A few days later, Gomez and Morticia rescued me from the camp and brought me back here. Debbie, Fester's new wife, had tried to kill the whole family for their money and had ended up being electrocuted. They had her funeral while I was here. Dad came and got me a few days after that. The next summer, I came back here for Pubert's birthday party. I basically told Wednesday that I loved her, and then she scared me half to death. We were thirteen.

"Since then, I've spent most of my summers here. Dad didn't mind. He said that I needed friends my own age. When I turned eighteen, I asked Wednesday to marry me and she said yes. We got married here at the house in a private ceremony with only a few guests. That was seven years ago. The girls are nine now, but then they were the best flower girls anyone could ask for. Pubert was six and we made him the ring bearer. Gomez gave Wednesday away, Pugsley was the best man, and Morticia was the matron of honor. Cousin Itt performed the ceremony, just as he did for Uncle Fester and Debbie. Wednesday and I had agreed before the ceremony to tell you and Dad whenever the subject first came up because I wasn't sure how you would take the news that I not only had a girl, but that I was married to her. Since the subject never came up, I didn't say anything."

Don was stunned. His little brother had a completely separate life that he didn't know about... a life that included a wife and in-laws. He couldn't believe that his brother had been _married_ for seven years without any clues. He then remembered the case and decided to think about his brother and in-laws later, "Okay, I need time to think about this and we need to solve the case. So...?"

Charlie seemed to know what he was talking about and nodded. Don turned his attention to Fester, "Someone tried to kill you and we need to know who."

Fester laughed, along with the rest of his family, and said, "A lot of people try to kill me."

Charlie took over, "What he means is: who outside the family has tried to kill you?"

Don looked confused at that... why would his family try to kill him? But Fester seemed to understand and answered Charlie's question, "A woman came by, she acted so much like Debbie that Wednesday made her leave. She came back a few days later and threatened to blow-up the house unless I gave her all of our money. When I told her no, she shot me several times and left me for dead. She also searched the house. She left with nothing. Gomez and Morticia came in a little bit later and patched me up. Wednesday called the cops, said that you would be worried if a psycho was after us again."

Wednesday continued her uncle's story, "She had shoulder length red hair, tanned skin, and brown eyes. Her clothes were once expensive, but they were faded and worn. She looked like she hadn't slept in quite a while. If you have a sketch artist, I can give them a better description. Charlie, are you and your brother staying for lunch? You haven't had Grandmama's cooking in weeks."

Charlie looked at his wife, "I will, but I'm not sure about Don. This is a lot for him to take in."

Charlie then looked at his brother as if to ask if he would be staying. Don answered aloud, "I think that I would like to stay for lunch. Afterward, would it be alright if you come back with us to give our sketch artist that description?"

Wednesday nodded at her brother-in-law as she stood up. Gomez, who had been bouncing in his seat, stood up as well, pulling Morticia up with him. They led the way to the dining room, the rest of the family following.

Eating Grandmama's cooking was an experience that Don would probably never forget. The food literally moved, trying to get away from his fork. Charlie seemed not to notice that the grey stuff on his plate looked nothing like food and dug in with relish. Once Don found the courage to eat whatever it was, he found that it was pretty good.

All too soon, lunch was over. Charlie and Wednesday sat in the back while Don drove back to the FBI headquarters. Charlie got out of the car and held the door for Wednesday. They walked, hand in hand, to the elevator. They exited the elevator still holding hands. The team seemed confused by the dark girl walking in with their mathematician and their leader. Wednesday gave the description to the sketch artist and decided to hang around with Charlie for the rest of the day. Though confused, the team wasted no time in tracking down the woman Wednesday described. It took them two hours to find her and bring her in. She cracked ten minutes after Don went in to interrogate her. She confessed to four counts of murder and to trying to kill Fester. The case was closed and all the reports filed before dinner time. Charlie and Wednesday had discussed telling everyone the truth and decided to invite the team to Charlie's house for dinner that night.

"Guys, I'm sure you're all wondering who Wednesday is to me. I'll tell you tonight at my house. So, go home, get cleaned up, and come over. We'll get everything ready. Be there in an hour," Charlie stated before holding out his arm to Wednesday and walking to the elevator with Don following close behind them.

As the elevator doors closed, Don asked the couple, "Are you really going to tell them at the same time you tell Dad?"

Charlie shook his head, "No, we're going to tell Dad before everyone else shows up. He already suspects something is up anyway. He stopped begging me to get a girl a few months ago."

Don drove them to Charlie's house. Charlie and Wednesday called Larry, Amita, and the Addams clan so that they could be at the house during the explanation. After all the calls were made, Charlie and Wednesday sat down with Alan and Don and gave Alan the same explanation that they gave Don earlier that day.

Alan sat there for the whole explanation, not saying a word. When Charlie (and Wednesday, who had to add things here and there) stopped talking, Alan told his son that he had known something was up from all of the sneaking around that Charlie had attempted to do. Charlie looked sheepish when his sneaking was mentioned... he knew that he wasn't very good at it. Don was just slightly angry at himself for not noticing.

The FBI gang showed up about five minutes after Alan's acceptance of the couple's explanation. They filed in as Don grabbed the phone... he knew that this was going to take a lot of pizza. The gang sat down around Charlie's living room, some on the two couches (3) and some sitting on kitchen chairs. Charlie's doorbell rang just as everyone got seated. He jumped up from his spot next to Wednesday on the loveseat to answer. Larry, Amita, and the rest of the Addamses had somehow all arrived at the same time. They were let in and led to the living room.

The FBI team weren't sure how to take the group that Charlie led in. There were four men, two women, a set of little twin girls, and a teenage boy. The little twin girls looked normal in their little black dresses, but they were the only ones. Between the two women, one looked like an old witch and the other could only be described as a Gothic beauty in her tight black dress, pale skin, and dark eyes. The teen looked like all the color had drained out of him, wearing black and white only and having a tiny black mustache. The four men couldn't've been more different. One was freakishly tall and looked like Frankenstein, one looked like an older version of the teenager, one was hunched over and bald with black circles around his eyes, and one looked like he was straight out of a 1950s detective movie. (Lurch, Gomez, Fester, and Pugsley)

"Gomez, why don't you and Morticia sit with on the loveseat," Charlie stated as Wednesday stood up to stand by him. "Fester, Pugsley, and Pubert can sit on the floor at your feet. Girls, you can sit with your brothers and uncle. Grandmama, you can have the chair," he told her, pointing to the only empty chair in the room.

The group sat where they were told, and Lurch went to stand behind the loveseat. Charlie wrapped his arms around his wife as they stood next to a window and looked at their friends and family... wondering how they were supposed to tell his friends about this other side of the family. Don had to get up and pay for the pizza before Charlie started his explanation, but as soon as he sat down, everyone's attention was again focused on the younger Eppes brother.

"Ok, so I bet that you are all wondering who everyone is, so I'll start by introducing everyone. On the loveseat are Gomez and Morticia Addams. Fester, Gomez's brother is on the floor with Pugsley and Pubert, Gomez and Morticia's sons. Grandmama Addams is in the chair. Lurch, Gomez and Morticia's butler is standing behind them. The twins are on the floor with their brothers, they are named Morrigan and Selene." As Charlie called their names, the Addams's nodded their heads. Charlie then tightened his hold around the girl in his arms. Wednesday looked at him and nodded her head. He took a deep breath, and started speaking again, "And this is Wednesday... daughter to Gomez and Morticia and my wife."

"What?"

"You're married?"

"When did that happen?"

"I met Wednesday when I was about eleven or twelve. Don and I had been sent to different families for the summer so Mom and Dad could have some time alone to reconnect. I was sent to a family called the Glickers. They didn't like me all that much and only took me in so that they could tell their friends that they had helped out a family in need. Instead of them personally taking care of me, they sent me to summer camp. I didn't want to go there. Back then, I was pretty much allergic to everything. I did try to tell them this, but they just ignored me. They enrolled me as their son and basically forced me to answer to the name Joel Glicker. Wednesday's brother Pubert had just been born, and Gomez had hired a nanny (well, several nannies) so that Morticia could have more free time. They finally found one that couldn't be scared off. Her name was Debbie. She made Fester fall in love with her, but Wednesday found out about her plot. All Debbie wanted was the Addams fortune. Wednesday told Pugsley and they confronted Debbie. She knew that if they stayed at the house, then she would lose millions, so she convinced Gomez and Morticia that the kids wanted to go to summer camp. Gomez will deny his kids nothing if it is within his power to give them (even if he doesn't understand the request), so he found a camp and off they went. All three of us were sent to the same camp.

"Larry's uncle Gary was one of the counselors there. We didn't really meet until we were all in trouble and confined to the 'Harmony Hut'. They were being antisocial and I just wanted to read. That hut was pure evil. All we could do was sit there and stare at cutesy posters for hours. Later on in the summer, we were sent there again for sneaking out... they forced us to watch really annoying Disney movies/musicals all day. At one point during the summer, Wednesday and Pugsley got a pass to go to Fester's wedding, and I was invited as a guest. I agreed and had a front row seat at my first Addams wedding. Wednesday caught the bouquet. According to Addams tradition, she had to be the next to get married, and a lot of people weren't happy because they didn't think that she'd ever get married. When we got back, we were informed that Gary's annual play was coming up, and all of the outcasts were to be the Indians while the popular kids were to be the pilgrims. Wednesday was to be our leader, I was her betrothed, and Pugsley was the turkey. We all said no, but we eventually agreed because we really had no choice. Everyone's parents were in the audience, including the Glickers.

"Wednesday came up with the perfect plan to get back at Gary for his 'vision'. She rallied the outcasts, and we took over the camp, threw pies into the audience, tied up the counselors over a fire, and tied the main little pilgrim girl to a stake in the middle of the stage while the fake village burned around her. That night, Pugsley hot-wired the camp van, and he and Wednesday went home to try to save their uncle from Debbie. I stayed behind to make sure that all the outcasts kept control of the camp and to make sure that the place burned to the ground. Gomez came and got me from the camp two days later, and Debbie's funeral was a week after we burned down the camp," Charlie stopped for a moment to take a sip of water before he continued. "Debbie, according to the official report, died of an electric shock. Unofficially, she was trying to kill the entire clan and messed up big time. Pubert, even if he was only one at the time, messed with the wiring she was trying to use to start up the electric chairs in the basement, and he created a complete circuit that entered her hand and came out her shoes... the only things left of her were her credit cards. I read the file when I started working with different agencies. From what I read, Debbie was known as the 'Black Widow' because she would marry a rich man, and then she would kill him. She even killed her own parents, but there wasn't enough evidence to convict her. Anyway, Dad came and got me a few days after the funeral.

"The next summer, I came back for Pubert's birthday party, that's when I told Wednesday that I loved her. In response, she tried to scare me to death... literally. After that, I spent my summers at the Addams family home, and when I turned eighteen, I asked Wednesday to marry me. We were married in a private ceremony with only the Addams's that lived in the family home there. Well, plus Cousin Itt... he performed the ceremony. Wednesday and I have been married for seven years now. We had agreed to wait until the subject was brought up to tell my family because we weren't sure how they would react to me being part of the Addams Clan," Charlie finished.

"I'm just glad you finally decided to grace the rest of the group with this incredible announcement," Larry stated. "I was wondering when you would get around to it."

"Wait, Larry knew but we didn't?" Alan asked.

"Larry's uncle Gary was one of the two counselors that ran the camp, remember?" Charlie explained. "The other one was Gary's wife, Becky. Neither one liked those of us who were 'different.' Ester, Jamal, Mordecai, Yang, Irwin, Consuela, (4) and the 'Indians' were all picked on because they were ethnically different than the Gary and Becky while Amanda, Lily, Jennifer, Tiffany, Michelle, Melissa and their squad of cheerleaders were made into pilgrims because they had long blonde hair, blue eyes, and tanned skin. I was picked on because I had pale skin and dark hair. Wednesday and Pugsley were picked on because of their morbid sense of humor and their dark style. Gary and Becky should not have been allowed near children, especially children who don't fit their idea of perfect. They wouldn't even let the three of us call anyone outside of the camp, but Amanda was allowed to talk for hours to her parents every day.

"Dad knew some of what happened, and Gomez filed charges against Gary and Becky for child endangerment... apparently keeping a child with allergies away from his or her medication is against the law, and I wasn't the only one that they did that to. The 'pilgrims' were allowed pretty much anything they wanted, and several of them were on medication for recent problems like allergies and colds... the 'Indians' were refused anything that might even be considered medication, as long as keeping it from us didn't immediately kill us. The local cops came out and did an investigation. Apparently, most of the locals had been denied entry into the camp because they didn't make enough money, and they didn't like Becky and Gary to begin with, so they were very thorough. It turns out that there were security cameras covering every public part of the camp, so the investigation was mostly them looking over the footage, searching the camp, and interviewing us. Because of the large amount of evidence, we didn't have to testify in court if we didn't want to. After all, most of us were only eleven or twelve. Gary and Becky were convicted of several counts of child endangerment and, and they were sent away for a few years, with several more of community service after that. The camp was sold to pay back all the parents whose kids were wronged. The state rebuilt it, and it's now a camp for the elementary and middle schools in that area... all of the kids that weren't allowed in before. The Glickers weren't charged with anything because we felt that being shown up in front of all their friends and having pie shoved in their faces was punishment enough. As far as I know, they haven't taken in any more kids since then, and they have none of their own," Charlie ended his story there, having nothing else to say.

Larry looked amused... he had heard this from Charlie before. Amita had also heard this before... Charlie had had to tell her why he wasn't interested in anything other than friendship, and he had introduced her to Wednesday. Don and Alan, since they had heard the shortened version of the story before, seemed to think that the whole thing was funny while trying to figure out how it went unnoticed for so long. The FBI team were wondering how Charlie had kept this a complete secret for so long without them noticing... they were supposed to be investigators after all. The Addams clan knew how important this was for Charlie, so they kept silent... they were just excited to finally be meeting Alan and Don after so long hearing about them. (Gomez was practically bouncing in his seat.)

"Does anyone have any questions?" Charlie asked.

"Explain again why you didn't tell your brother and your dad?"

"I wasn't sure how they would react. Dad only knew a little bit about what happened that summer, and Don didn't know any of it, just like I don't know what happened to him that summer beyond that he went to baseball camp. The rest of what happened just seemed too outrageous to tell Dad, and it was just easier to not mention anything to Don."

"So why are you telling this now? If you've been married for so many years, you've obviously gotten good at sneaking around."

"Uncle Fester was attacked, and Don asked me to ride with him to the house so I could maybe find some clues that he might miss. I knew that the family would greet me like they normally do, so I thought that it was probably time to come clean. Don would want an explanation, and then he would tell Dad, who would also want to know."

The silence was deafening, so Alan took it upon himself to break it, "So, Mr. Addams, what do you do?"

"Call me Gomez, please. I don't have a job."

"What my husband means, Mr. Eppes, is that the Addams family is an old one with quite a bit of money. We have no need to get jobs."

"How did you two meet, Gomez, Morticia?"

Morticia started the explanation, "It was my first funeral."

"I could not keep my eyes off of her, she was so beautiful. No one paid any attention to the proceedings."

"Gomez was so handsome. I stared at him the whole time."

"We were married later that night. It was love at first sight."

"Fester had disappeared five years before we were married. We thought he was dead, so we performed séances for him on the anniversary every year. On the twenty-fifth anniversary, Fester was returned to us. He had been found trapped in a tuna net in Florida with amnesia. The woman who found him was a con artist that made him believe that he was her son. She tried to steal the Addams fortune. She was killed when a storm hit our house, Fester was struck by lightning, forcing all of his memories to return to him, and Tulley, the lawyer that was helping that woman, was also killed. We allowed them a place of honor in our family cemetery, after all, they brought Fester back and Tulley's wife ended up marrying Cousin Itt. Pubert was born about a year later, around the same time as Cousin Itt's son, What."

Charlie spoke up then, "A few months after Pubert was born, Debbie came into the picture, Wednesday and Pugsley were sent to camp, and I met them for the first time. The rest, you already know."

Alan had one final question, "What are you going to do now that this is out in the open? Is she going to move in here? Are you going to move into her house? What about your job?"

"We haven't really talked about who is going to move where yet. Since we both live with our parents, we're going to have to work that out over time. There is enough room in both houses for us both. I am keeping my jobs, both with the FBI and my teaching job, even though I don't have to. Wednesday doesn't have a job, so that is not something we have to consider."

Wednesday butted in, "We will be moving here. Pugsley is getting married as soon as I move. His love does not appreciate how I treat him and has refused to marry him as long as I am in the same house. We may try to kill each other on a regular basis, but I will not stand in the way of his happiness, even if I don't think the girl will last a month as an Addams."

"That's settled then," Alan told his youngest.

Charlie nodded and smiled at Wednesday, kissing her quickly before looking at his brother, "Don?"

Don ran his hand over his head. While Charlie had been explaining things to the team, he had been processing everything. He wanted to make sure he had the whole story before saying a word. "I guess I have to say congratulations. I don't like that you kept this from us, don't really understand why either, but now that it's out, I'm glad you told me. There aren't any more big secrets are there?"

"No, this is the only big secret that I've got. Cara mia, are we still going to renew our vows now that my family knows?" he asked.

"Of course, mon cher."

Charlie looked at the people gathered in his living room, "We had decided that, once I finally came clean, we would have another ceremony and invite everyone. So, consider this your invitation. We'll decide the when and where later and get you the information."

"I think I speak for all of us when I say congratulations, Charlie," Alan said, "and Wednesday, welcome to the family."

**A.N. Where I got their names: (1) Morrigan was the Celtic Goddess of War, Revenge, Night, Magic, and Prophecy and was the Queen of Fairies and Witches (2) Selene was the Greek Goddess of the Moon (if either of these two facts are wrong, please tell me. I do not know much about Celtic mythology and mean no disrespect by putting those names in my story). (3) I can't remember off the top of my head what Charlie's living room looks like. (4) I apologize if I misspelled their names... I am doing this off the top of my head (and using subtitles), so I can't remember them all and my spell checker is no help for most names… it doesn't even like my name.**


End file.
